For a minute there, I lost myself

I so easily look to other people for my standard, and it doesn't make me happy. I need to know and stand firm in my own standards.

Sunday Favourite Things: Cousins

It was my beautiful cousin Amber's wedding on Sunday. Congrats to her and her new husband Steve. You both looked loverly.

Well if everyone is doing it.

I've been feeling a little low for the last couple weeks, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. The Solution: Journalling and Jogging.

Ill let you know how it goes but so far so good. Found an outdoor track by my house and the bf bought me a beautiful journal. Hopefully I can get some endorphins pumping and some emotion on the page.

Sunday Favourite Things: Mojitos

A kid at work asked me today, "How does it feel to have a boyfriend?" What an excellent question.

Anne Lamott

"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
— Anne Lamott

"I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us."
— Anne Lamott

In my experience, divorce has altered every adult relationship in my life. Fractured some, tested others, torn some apart. It was unexpected, unimagined. But divorce has changed me. In more ways than I could count or fathom. Its made me realize that it really is up to me, to teach people how to treat me. And its also only up to me to surround myself with people who aid in my healing, my transformation, my positive choices. Its hard sometimes, to see people turn their backs, see them focus on their own grief. I feel distant, from so many people in my old life, so removed. How do I gain back that closeness, that space between us? The awkwardness the comes with me being someone completely different than who I was before....

so this is how it feels.

to get everything you asked for.

only you had to let it go.

and it's not yours anymore.

Mumford & Sons - Liar

music I love

Inspiration: Ruffles

Sunday Favourite Things

Fleet Foxes.Helplessness Blues.On Vinyl.

i love to craft. fortunately my job is full of opportunities to be creative and craft to my hearts content. Origami, friendship bracelets, pet rocks, doodling for days. I love colouring. On my first day at work a little girl asked me if I wanted to colour. As I sat down at the craft table and got handed a piece of paper. I stared at it blankly for what seemed like an eternity. What does a 28 year old woman draw? I hadn't drawn in years. My companion on the other hand, went right into colouring, the first thing on her mind? a horse. As she drew her terribly ill proportioned horse, I realized, she didn't care that her horse was ugly, or misshapen. She drew because it made her happy, because she was practicing a skill, and perhaps most importantly, because she really liked horses. Jump to 4 weeks later and you will see me constantly doodling, drawing, sketching and outlining. I love to draw unicorns, princess', mermaids, diamonds and rainbows. I've even been known to draw the occasional dragon or lion. Not to toot my own horn but my princess' are in pretty high demand.

Grab some coloured pencils and doodle. It's funner than tv, for reals.

a blog to waste your time.

Burning house. What would you grab running out of your burning house?

inspired

Mysterious. Infinite in His wisdom. Kind. Just. Endlessly Creative. Gentle. Generous. Musical. An Artist. My healer.

A father who feels his joy and my joy deeply, who can be hurt just as deeply but who never gives up on me, who showers me with gifts and opportunities whether I acknowledge them or not. A friend who will never abandon me. An authority figure. A creator who won't let me do anything that hasn't already been done before. The reason I feel secure.

There is something so cathartic about paddling in a canoe. Its one of the simple pleasures in life. Being one with the water. I love the sound of the water as the paddle breaks the surface. I wish I could wake up every morning, get in a canoe and just row.

Sunday Favourite Things

My Dad.

My Dad is a guy's guy, though I think he would deny it. He's funny, he's kind, but he's not a push over. He's rude, usually to strangers. He loves to talk about people just loud enough for them to overhear. He's embarrassing but somehow you never mind being embarrassed. He's smart, he comes up with the best inventions. My dad never stops working for his family. He is always doing his best to make sure everyone is loved and has everything they need. My dad buys me tires. I love asking my dad questions, going out for breakfast, driving with him. My dad loves me, a lot. Because of his love, I have never questioned God's undying love for me. Because I know my father always wants the best for me, I also know that God wants the same. I love my dad. He's the best. I miss him.