Oops

The last couple of weeks I haven't been myself. There has been a lot going on, and I became a different person. I neglected myself, ate badly, forgot that I enjoy daily walks, and generally felt sorry for myself. It needed to happen I suppose. After coming out of my grumpy, binge eating, pout, the result was not good. Huge thighs, pudgy arms and an overwhelming feeling of not being at my best. Being aware of myself and taking responsibility for my actions, the minute I realized what I was doing, I stopped. Or, more accurately, I started. Living life in a way that makes me happy, healthy, and productive.

Actually feeling less than great about myself was good for me. This New Years I told myself that I wanted to work on internal validation over external validation, and this week has been the first step in that continuing journey. All week long I have been sensitive to people's comments in regards to my physical appearance, for obvious reasons. And as it turns out, peoples comments make a surprisingly small affect on how I feel about myself. Its almost as if the haters urge me forward, make me love myself more, make me accept myself more.

Feeling chubby has actually been awesome. Most of the time I actually like the way I look and am satisfied with my appearance on a whole. This week of feeling less than satisfactory was a good reminder for me. I think the world has become obsessed with perfection, and I'm not expecting perfection, I am satisfied, in love with, and completely confident in my perfectly, imperfect me.