Reasons Jesus is a unicorn and not a dog

1) This morning I was having a coughing fit in bed. Jesus looked at me, nudged my face and then laid his chin on my neck. My coughing stopped.

2) He looks humans directly in the eye. As if he's looking in your soul.

3) He has a dip on his forehead where his horn used to be. If you touch the spot, you'll notice its burning hot.

4) Hes all white. Thats magical.

5) He looks vaguely human.

6) He hates the rain, as rain is a portal back to his unicorn world. He isn't ready to leave so he avoids it at all cost. When returning from outside, on a rainy day, he will diligently wipe off his forehead, to ensure he stays here with us.