One Scary thing a day.

In this year of change, transition, fresh starts, I have made a promise to myself to do something that scares me everyday. Whether that means telling someone I just met that I think they are swell, doing an activity that Im not sure I'll enjoy or something completely outside of my comfort zone, I have promised myself not to not shy away, and not to turn and run.

My only point is: I went to church today. For the first time in years.

More to come Im sure.

I dont know what I learnt today, but it was heavy.

My choices affect those around me. As a stone dropped into a still lake causes ripples outward, my decisions affect those close to me more than I realized. As I choose to learn through experiences, the people close to me must also face their demons. Deep rooted fears of abandonment, trust, loss, and change. They did not choose to experience these things but my life choices have brought these feelings to the surface, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry for the disruption that my choices make in your life. But I am not sorry for making the choices I need to make. I am facing my fears too. I am scared. Of being myself, of making friends, of starting over, of falling back into my old habits. But I have chosen to face my fears and fight them, head on. Im sorry if you were not ready to face your fears. Im sorry that your life is changing. I love you.

I guess what I learnt today is: Loving people is messy.