Favorite Things

Lately I have been obsessed with Taxidermy. I keep mentioning my desire to taxidermy my dog upon his death to people and everyone seems to have the same reaction: horror. The truth of the matter is, people have been taxidermy-ing for hundreds of years. Hunters mount the heads of their kill on their mantels, eccentric old professors have stuffed cats in their studies, and Torrington, Alberta has an entire museum dedicated to stuffed gophers to which no one raises an eyebrow. I have no idea why putting a unicorn horn on my dog, stuffing him and turning him into a rocking-dog when he dies is such a horrible idea.

Some day soon taxidermy is going to be in vogue again, and then well see who's laughing.

For anyone who's interested, I came across this jewellery maker who agrees with me. I find her pieces AMAZING!! What do you think?

http://juliadeville.com/

Men's Trending: Necklaces

I'm learning

"We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it."
— Rainer Maria Rilke (Translations from the Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke)

Lion Tales, "look up"

Here is a link from my girlfriends blog. The post is called "Look Up", its an important message for these technologically obsessed times.

http://liontales-audrey.blogspot.com/2010/11/common-courtesy.html?spref=fb

I think Im in love

Saw these in a shop window last week. They are on my short list for "first clothing purchase" when I get a little extra money.

Low Brow. High Fashion

Thanks (?) Vivienne Westwood

My response to a friend

A girlfriend ask me how I was doing in Vancouver, and I thought you might all like to know the answer to that. Here was my response.

Im doing well. I work at this little coffee shop/sandwich shop downtown. WE MAKE THE BEST SANDWICHES. Marble rye, cheese herb bread, multigrain. Hungarian Salami, Blackforest Ham, Shrimp Salad, Egg Salad, Chicken Salad. With all the veggies. So good! And we make coffee of course. I work with some nice girls and everyone has potty mouths. My boss is constantly swearing at customers (in a joking way) and everyone is super sarcastic. Its nice. Its not trendy or pretentious. And I think on a level I was hoping to work somewhere "hip" but I think God placed me in the perfect place. I work M-F 10am - 430am!! IDEAL!! Actually I wanted less hours but Josh doesnt have a job right now so Im the only one bringing home the bacon. I let my boss know that when Josh gets a full time job I would want to work a little less, he was cool with it! So ya, I'm happy. I also work at LUSH part time. So I get free and cheap bath and cosmetics products too. I work on Robson so I get to be in the busy downtown core and have drinks after work. Its lovely.

Im loving living here. Ive been so busy and I dont really even have any friends. I feel so creative, and I have a couple projects in the works that Ill keep you updated on when they get on their feet. I think youll be pumped. My apartment is coming together and I have been loving going to thrift stores to create my nest again. Josh and I bought a 1912 singer sewing machine in its orignal desk the other week for $60! I could go on and on about the great finds Im finding out here. But ill stop. (:

Spiritually I feel alive out here. Creative, aware, growing, constantly. God screams at me out here, he shakes me, trips me, talks to me in a way that is alive and real and palpable. Its so easy to trust my gut.

Im doing one thing that scares me everyday, and that has been interesting. Its funny 'cause it really does get hard to find things that scare you. Ive been asking randoms out for coffee and saying the first thing I think before over analyzing it. its been really good. Im so glad I moved. Im seeing myself through strangers eyes and its so refreshing. Its like Im getting to know myself all over again.

Josh and I are good. He hasnt found a job and I think the fact that he is bored and constantly around here has put a little pressure on us. I think its hard for him to be in a city with no job, no friends, no outlet. He is starting to get frustrated a little bit, but even that is a lesson. I am learning over and over again to detatch from the DESIRE I have to help him, fix him, save him. I am learning more and more everyday to let go. Its been nice. A little tiring, but nice.

All in all, life is better than I ever though it could be.

Just discovered Rainer Maria Rilke...

Rainer Maria Rilke

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainer_Maria_Rilke

Apparently his mother called him Sophia and made him wear dresses until the age of 5.

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

Rainer Maria Rilke

I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.
Rainer Maria Rilke

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty.
Rainer Maria Rilke

It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it.
Rainer Maria Rilke

It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Rainer Maria Rilke

What do you think?

Public Transport

I took the bus home from work by myself yesterday. It was the first time I had taken the bus alone in years. Im always a little nervous on the bus. I feel like there is an etiquette that I don't quite understand.

For example: I got on the bus and, as there were no disabled or elderly people at my stop I sat down in the seats that said "Priority for the Disabled and Elderly". At the next stop a gentleman got on the bus. He was dressed in a suit had a lovely moustache and salt and pepper hair. Here's he kicker...He might have been Elderly. But, in my defence, he might not have been elderly. Who's to know. Heres the facts:

1) He was working downtown, I could plainly see that he was a business man, so he wasn't retired or anything and just downtown on a pleasure stroll.

2) He didn't look decrepit or anything. He looked of sound mind and body.

3) He was definitely over the age of 55. That technically makes him a senior, but does it make him elderly?

The thing is, he kept looking at me, with this look of expectation, expectation that I'd move for him. But getting up and giving him my seat is a whole different can of beans. What if he isn't elderly and he gets insulted? I wouldn't want to offer, for him to to reject me, and then have to sit in the silent judgement and mockery of the entire #17 U.B.C. bus. Public humiliation terrifies me. What would you have done? He did stumble a bit once when the bus started moving. Oh no, Im horrible. I should have gotten up.

In the end, I think I wont sit in the Priority Seating again. Its just not worth the mental conflict. Standing will suit me just fine.

BBC's book List

So I have seen this list floating around for years. Its a great list of books, and I have a goal of reading them all (well maybe all but the Dickens, I cant get into that guy). The trouble is I always forget what book I want to read when Im at the bookstore. Maybe with this list posted on my blog I will remember to look back and purchase a title from the list. How many of the books on the list have you read? Im at 38 so far! My next read from the list is going to be Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

Instructions: Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 48

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 57

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Its getting ridiculous how much I like everything Paulo writes.

Taken From Paulo Coehlo's Blog:

Many years ago, there lived a man who was capable of loving and forgiving everyone he came across. Because of this, God sent an angel to talk to him.

‘God asked me to come and visit you and tell you that he wishes to reward you for your goodness,’ said the angel. ‘You may have any gift you wish for. Would you like the gift of healing?’

‘Certainly not,’ said the man. ‘I would prefer God to choose those who should be healed.’

‘And what about leading sinners back to the path of Truth?’

‘That’s a job for angels like you. I don’t want to be venerated by anyone or to serve as a permanent example.’

‘Look, I can’t go back to Heaven without having given you a miracle. If you don’t choose, I’ll have to choose one for you.’

The man thought for a moment and then said:

‘All right, I would like good to be done through me, but without anyone noticing, not even me, in case I should commit the sin of vanity.’

So the angel arranged for the man’s shadow to have the power of healing, but only when the sun was shining on the man’s face. In this way, wherever he went, the sick were healed, the earth grew fertile again, and sad people rediscovered happiness.

The man traveled the Earth for many years, oblivious of the miracles he was working because when he was facing the sun, his shadow was always behind him. In this way, he was able to live and die unaware of his own holiness.

Seriously, I need a fur headdress...

Adventure

So the other day Kasey took me to J N & Z meats on Commercial Drive. She had been talking about this meat shop that smokes all their own meat, smells amazing, is family run, and has amazing prices. Well, I was making soup with my sister that evening, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to buy some high quality, delicious meat products, and let me tell you...MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.

First of all, the minute you walk in your nostril are accosted with the smell of smokey meat. The shopped smelled amazing. Like a smokehouse. Sweet, and smokey, and full of juicy meat flavour. As we were making our purchases, people continually kept popping their heads into the shop, to get a whiff of the beauty that is smoked meat. But its not only the smell that gets you drooling. All four walls are covered with hanging meat of all different shapes and sizes. Links, racks, haunches (?) It truly is a sight to see. I ended up buying WAY too much sausage. Garlic sausage, Polish sausage, Spicy pepperoni, a ham hock for making pea soup! Wow. It was meat overload. The lady behind the counter weighed out my meat and I was shocked by the unbelievably low price tag. $12 for all that meat?! How could that be true? She told me that it was her family's business and that her father started it 17 years ago when she was a little girl who wanted to eat hot dogs like all her friends. Her old school Polish father (who knew what was in hot dogs) refused to let her eat them, but told her he would make her a replacement. Well as it turns out it was cheaper to buy a meat shop than a sausage stuffer, and the rest, as they say, is history. J N and Z Meats sell high quality sausage and other smoke house products for low prices. Spreading the love of meat, one customer at a time.

Honestly, if you live in Vancouver, go to this shop. It was amazing and delicious.

Oh yah, apparently in February she starts making beef jerky. I cant wait!

Saw a Blue Jay, and then it disappeared.

2 week update

How do I sum up this experience? I'm finding it hard to write about as so many huge moments are happening and my life is changing on a daily basis. I guess the main thing that I am learning is to be fearless. It's funny, the more often you do things that scare you, the less scared you become. I have always known that your greatest fear lies in anticipation of the fear, not the fear itself, but I had never put it to the test in such a real way. I am learning more everyday to trust my gut. If I feel anxious about something, or nervous, I'm not running away, or hiding from that feeling. I have to process it. I have to ask myself, "Is this something that is unsafe/not good for me? Or is this something that I am afraid of?" If I find out the answer is the latter one. I jump in. I do the deed, and not with timidity. NO! With Gusto. With Courage. With the curiosity of a child.

By far the biggest fear that I faced so far was going to church on Sunday. Im not sure how to explain my feelings about church for those of you who are unfamiliar with my past. But I guess its fair to say, that in my experience, I feel betrayed, lied to, and manipulated by the church. Its funny for me to even write that as before this week, I wouldn't have known thats how I felt. I knew I was angry. I knew I felt wronged. But I wasn't sure why. Well going to church on Sunday after a LONG hiatus was just what I needed on some level.

I stepped into the building, not out of duty, or habit, but with fresh eyes. I walked into church on my own accord, being aware of my surroundings, how I was feeling, and what was happening in my body. What an amazing experience! The minute I got to my seat I had a hot flash. I couldn't figure out what was going on. My sister Joyelle, who suffers from anxiety, walked me through it. It was actually funny. I was shredding my clothing, trying to regulate my temperature, and she looks at me as says, "are you having a hot flash?"

"Yah!" I said, "I feel like a 50 year old woman."

"I get those all the time at church." She whispered with empathy in her eyes.

"You do?" I exclaimed, "Why is this happening? Whats it from?"

"Anxiety." she stated plainly, as if anxiety and its affects were an obvious and regular occurrence. Once I knew that my body was reacting to my anxiety with a hot flash, it was easy for me to slow down my breathing, calm down my mind and cool myself down.

Now without getting into the nitty gritty of what was said, or the doctrine of the church, about half way through the service the pastor started saying some things. He was speaking passionately about how he believed and about what he thought was right, and I can respect that. The only trouble I had with what he was saying, was when he started using phrasing like, "the only way". Now growing up in the church, I fully know that most christians have a very strong belief that you need to be a christian, believe that Jesus is the son of God, died for your sins, and was resurrected in 3 days, in order to go to heaven. Heaven apparently being the only goal in life. This, according to most Christian religions, is the corner stone of faith.

Now Im not saying I have all the answers. Im not even saying that my viewpoint is the viewpoint everyone should hold. All I know is, as long as I can remember, whenever this topic came up, in church, or in discussions, my body vibrates with "thats not the God I know". I don't know how else to put it. The God I know, is aware of human stupidity. She created us. She is aware of our emotional issues, and the problems that we will hold throughout our lives due to traumatic experiences as youngsters. She's aware of our differences, or individuality, She created us to be different. The God I know, takes everything into account. She knows our hearts, She's excited about the spiritual journey we are each on. Even if we deny her, she excited that we are thinking about metaphysical shit. I guess Im more of the mindset that its about the journey with our creator, not the conclusions our limited, idiocy, human minds come up with. Its about the JOURNEY.

However, I digress, all Im trying to say, is as I was listening to the message, my body was alive with righteous anger. And this was a feeling I felt a lot as a teen for a very different reason. It is the feeling I get when I am being lied to. Not intentionally. Not maliciously. But lied to none the less. And it is this feeling, that I promised myself I would not blindly go along with ever again.

More to come....

Reasons Jesus is a unicorn and not a dog

1) This morning I was having a coughing fit in bed. Jesus looked at me, nudged my face and then laid his chin on my neck. My coughing stopped.

2) He looks humans directly in the eye. As if he's looking in your soul.

3) He has a dip on his forehead where his horn used to be. If you touch the spot, you'll notice its burning hot.

4) Hes all white. Thats magical.

5) He looks vaguely human.

6) He hates the rain, as rain is a portal back to his unicorn world. He isn't ready to leave so he avoids it at all cost. When returning from outside, on a rainy day, he will diligently wipe off his forehead, to ensure he stays here with us.

If I dont open up Ill wither

A rose longed for the company of the bees, but none would come to her.
Even so, the flower was still capable of dreaming. When she felt all alone, she would imagine a garden filled with bees that came to kiss her. And so she managed to resist until the next day, when she opened her petals again.

“Aren’t you tired?” another rose asked her.
“No. I have to go on fighting.”
“Why?”

“Because if I don’t open up, I wither.”

-Taken from Paulo Coelho's blog

My first rainy day in Vancouver

View from my bedroom.

One Scary thing a day.

In this year of change, transition, fresh starts, I have made a promise to myself to do something that scares me everyday. Whether that means telling someone I just met that I think they are swell, doing an activity that Im not sure I'll enjoy or something completely outside of my comfort zone, I have promised myself not to not shy away, and not to turn and run.

My only point is: I went to church today. For the first time in years.

More to come Im sure.

A note to myself, from my Asia Journal

1) Guys in jean cut offs look cool

2) People who walk with their mouths open look dumb

3) Large sunglasses make girls look hot

My favourite part of the day

Good Morning Ocean, and the OM in your waves.

Good Morning Boats, and your men getting ready for the day.

Good Morning Clouds, as your faces change.

Good Morning Sky. What will you bring me today?

Good Morning Wind, as you awaken the trees.

Good Morning Palms, and the songs that you sing.

Hello Morning, there is stillness in your start.

Good Morning Universe thank you for this work of art.

Ignorance is Bliss

My eyes have been opened to the injustices of our land.
Opened to how lost our nation has become.
The absence of ceremony has made our days drift together with meaningless moments in time, lost the second they end.
The lack of purpose, the hollowness of entitlement.
We have given up thankfulness and connection for loneliness and greed.
How do I work within a system so defunct?
How do I work alongside people who are so lost?
How do I carry on with the knowledge I now posses?

The Ocean

Swimming against the current is hard work, and it gets you no where fast. But sometimes its important. To strengthen your muscles, to train your mind.

Swimming with the current is easier and quicker. The trick is patience until the current finds you. After that, oneness; as life swirls around you in syncronized beauty.

-Picture: Boracay, Philippines

JACK POT.

Thank you Salvation Army!

Love this Trend for Men

Velvet Necktie - Tom Ford

Im loving Men in Velvet.

Manrepeller.com

So Ive always said that girls dress for other girls more than they dress for boys. This blogger agrees with me, and makes fun of the fashion that women wear. Its cute.

Check it out: http://www.manrepeller.com/

Remembrance Day

So apparently on Remembrance Day in B.C., all the Salvation Army stores have a 50% off sale! This is incredible news for me as I just moved and am in need of some essentials.

Here is my wishlist:

floor lamp

folding TV tables

side tables

coffee table

gold and glass liquor cart

chest of drawers

velvet painting/art

floral linens/towels

and thats just the house stuff!!

Remembrance Day is tomorrow so I will be up early getting my shop on. Im heading out to Abbotsford and Surrey hoping to find some gems! Wish me luck, Ill let you know how it goes.

Im into it

Where can I get one?

The need for Ceremony

Asia taught me a lot of things, and hopefully I will get the energy to blog about some more of the things I have learnt along the way.

One of the life changing things Asia taught me was the importance of ceremony. Ceremony is that time in your day that you set aside to give thanks. That time in your week where you invite the wonder and magic of the supernatural into your life, and remember that you are not alone. You are loved and supported and completely blessed.

The Asian culture is filled with ceremony. Filled with designated times to reflect, breathe and pause. I too have adopted ceremony into my life. Ceremonies that slow down my day, remind me to breathe, and enhance my life.

What ceremonies do you do?